


could there be something as terrifying as tomorrow (?)

by oddpen



Series: i told you last week that my heart is to keep [2]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddpen/pseuds/oddpen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s new feelings rising in her, fluttery feelings in her stomach, a burning ache where her heart is.  She’s not certain how she feels, how to describe the way she reacts when she sees Byulyi or hears Yongsun’s voice through the speaker.</p>
<p>All these thoughts jumble in her head, pushing against her temples, causing a painful throb, an unpleasant headache.</p>
            </blockquote>





	could there be something as terrifying as tomorrow (?)

Hyejin finds herself unsure. 

The days with Wheein have become distant, too drawn apart. Their shared dorm room is mostly just Hyejin, eyes always lingering at the emptiness Wheein’s absence leaves on her side. The other’s bed is pristine, not a wrinkle or fold in the bedding, nothing out of order.

But the strange ache in her heart isn’t from the dwindling friendship, the years thrown apart. The feelings she feels towards Wheein are bitter, angry, raging in a way that Hyejin knows are dangerous.

There’s new feelings rising in her, fluttery feelings in her stomach, a burning ache where her heart is. She’s not certain how she feels, how to describe the way she reacts when she sees Byulyi or hears Yongsun’s voice through the speaker.

All these thoughts jumble in her head, pushing against her temples, causing a painful throb, an unpleasant headache.

She sighs, putting down her pencil, eyes looking discouragingly at her sketched graphs.

There’s a lot of things that have changed, but Hyejin seems to be the only one confused by these. Behind these fluttering feelings comes a feeling of guilt, a shaky fear of wrongness.

_I didn’t think you were that kind of person. So shameless._

Just like everything else Wheein, it leaves a bitterness in her mouth, brings her back to the reality. 

Hyejin is but a mere university student. Studying math, stuck in a crappy, cramp, dorm room, barely able to get in a relationship.

Her phone rings then, vibrating loudly against the desk.

She’s smiling before she picks up, lips parting wider when she hears the other’s voice.

“ _Hyejin ah_ ,” Byulyi says, voice cheery, “ _are you doing something important?_ ”

Hyejin spares another look at her notebook, laughing a little, “Hello unnie,” she closes her book, “no I’m not, why?”

Byulyi returns her laugh, breezy as she answers, “ _I’m outside your dorm building, let’s eat out!_ ”

-

Her hand is getting clammy from Byulyi’s hold on her, pulling her along the streets, past crowded shops.

“Where’s Yongsun unnie?” she asks nervously, picking up her stride.

“Yongsun?” Byulyi offers a small smile, “busy doing something, some homework or something.”

That doesn’t settle well on her, as they sit in a booth of a diner like restaurant, menus placed for them to see.

“She won’t join us?” Hyejin asks, heart skipping nervously.

“Not today,” Byulyi answers with another soft smile, “now what do you want, I’ll treat.”

Hyejin freezes for a second, feeling the weight of Byulyi’s gaze on her. She ducks down to read the small print of her menu, voice shy when she asks, “Can I have the cheeseburger?”

Byulyi orders one herself, a couple of iced teas.

Hyejin’s feels uneven once again, unsure of what to say, what’s going on. She’s lost in her thoughts, thinking about Wheein’s words, thinking about how much she’s taken a _liking_ to Byulyi, about how _pretty_ Yongsun is. About how they’re already a couple with no room for Hyejin.

“Hyejin ah,” Byulyi’s voice cuts through her thoughts, “foods here.”

She lifts her hands up to make room for her plate, blush coming in light pink. 

“Thank you,” Hyejin says to the waitress, fingers going for the straw in her drink.

Byulyi takes a bite of her burger once the waitress leaves, eyes settling on Hyejin once more. Hyejin watches her chew, put the burger down, clean her lips with a napkin.

“You’re cute when you think like that,” Byulyi says finally, “when you do your homework you always look so cute.”

Hyejin’s blush comes back, her ears heating up at the way Byulyi looks at her, gaze fond.

“Unnie don’t,” she says weakly, reaching for her glass, “these are things you should say to Yongsun unnie.”

“And you,” Byulyi tacks on easily, “Yongsun unnie _and you_.”

-

There’s the feeling of guilt when Hyejin is back in her dorm room, laying in bed. She gets a message from Byulyi and the profile picture is a shot of both Byulyi and Yongsun smiling at the camera.

_i had fun today!_

She watches the small number one disappear, sighing as she types out.

_me too_

-

She finds refuge in the library, as she always does. The sunlight seeps in through the big windows, falling along her books.

She’s thought a lot, but finds herself in circles.

Hyejin looks at the people outside the library, couples holding hands, kids skateboarding through campus.

She can’t tell it apart. The difference between wanting to make her feel better and genuine interest. 

When they had gone out with Wheein and Yoonsun it had been all attention on her, a means to make her feel better, _wanted_.

With Wheein fading away and Hyejin’s distant feelings, Byulyi’s attention had become unbearable, too nice, too hopeful.

She catches herself holding onto Byulyi’s hand and remembering that Yongsun exists.

_Yongsun._

Hyejin finds interest in her, the way Byulyi seems to have towards her. 

Can she really do _this_ , she can’t help but ask herself, can she really take Byulyi away from Yongsun when she wants Yongsun too?

The chair across from her scrapes back, Hyejin’s eyes flicker to see Yongsun’s bare shoulders, her hair tied in a low ponytail.

“Hyejinnie,” she says with a smile, eyes sparkling, “I’ve finally gotten you by yourself.”

There’s a lot of things Hyejin expects, but when Yongsun reaches for her hand she finds it hard to keep thinking.

“Are you almost done?” Yongsun asks, voice bright, “we can go out for some coffee.”

-

When Yongsun kisses her, barely over the corner of her mouth, she can’t help but compare. The stickiness from Yongsun’s lip gloss is something Byulyi’s lips have missed. The scent of peaches different from the vanilla scent Byulyi emitted.

“Byulyi thinks I don’t know what she’s doing,” Yongsun smiles mischievously, “but I know you like me best.”

Before she can ask Yongsun turns away from her, walking further and further away from the building.

-

She lets this go on. Hyejin isn’t as strong willed as she will like others to believe. But between fleeting thoughts of Wheein and school work she finds comfort in Byulyi’s hand in hers, in Yongsun’s laugh and smile.

There’s a knock on her door, eyes closed, trying to sleep, she sighs. Listens as the knocking stops, deciding it must have been the RA.

There’s another series of knocks, just bit louder. Hyejin opens her eyes, watching the ceiling before the knocking continues.

She throws the covers off her, walking slowly towards the door. Her eyes close a bit when the light from the hallway blinds her, eyelashes fluttering as she tries to adjust.

“Hyejinnie,” Yongsun’s voice is bright, “did we wake you up?”

Hyejin’s eyes land on the interlocked hands between both of them, gaze trailing up to Yongsun’s fond look, Byulyi’s smile.

She shakes her head, still disoriented, stunned by the lights of the hallway. 

Byulyi’s hand reaches out to her, gently turning Hyejin around, sliding down to the small of her back, guiding her back inside the dorm room. 

Yongsun reaches for the lights, flooding the small space in an yellow glow.

“What’s going on?” Hyejin asks once her mind reconnects, sitting herself on the edge of her bed.

“We;ve missed you,” Yongsun says cutely, sitting next to Byulyi on Wheein’s empty bed.

Hyejin stares blankly, Byulyi’s fingers playing with a loose thread on Wheein’s bedding.

“You haven’t been around,” Byulyi tacks on.

Hyejin blinks at them, “I saw you yesterday,” she turns to Yongsun, “we were at the library, studying.”

“You saw her _yesterday?_ ” Byulyi’s voice is loud, body turning to face Yongsun as well.

Yongsun looks between them, crossing her arms, huffing, “you took her on an _actual_ date...I had to settle on a library study date.”

Hyejin watches them go back and forth for a couple of seconds, head still caught on one word.

“ _Date_?” she says, voice shaky, “those were _dates_?”

They turn to face her again, argument dropped as Yongsun approaches her, dropping on her knees as her hand reaches for Hyejin’s.

It’s gone quiet, Yongsun turns to look back at Byulyi, turns back to look at Hyejin.

“Mine weren’t dates,” she says, lips forming a pout.

Byulyi laughs from Wheein’s bed, covers rustling as she slides off it, sitting next to Hyejin.

“Mine were dates,” she says, happily.

Hyejin opens her mouth, eyes flickering to Yongsun, “Yongsun unnie?” she asks, voice soft.

She looks beautiful like that, Hyejin thinks, skin soft, pale, eyelashes long, lips a soft pink, why would Byulyi ever leave someone like _that_ for her.

There’s tears forming, she can feel the way they collect, hot, falling over.

“This is cruel,” she sounds pained, “how can you do this to Yongsun unnie?”

She pushes herself away from Byulyi, feeling somewhere between mad, _used_. Guilty that she had let this happen. 

There’s a hand on her thigh, calming, the scent of Yongsun. 

Byulyi recovers from the shove, scrambling as her hands go to grab Hyejin’s shoulders, turning her gaze back to her, face set into a kind look.

“You’re misunderstanding,” Byulyi says, voice sure, “I would never hurt Yongsun like this...she wouldn’t hurt me like this.”

“I want to go on a date with you too,” Yongsun says shyly from the floor. 

“I’m _misunderstanding_ ,” Hyejin repeats dumbly, “somehow _I’m_ misunderstanding?”

Byulyi’s thumbs wipe the stray tears from her face, pressing gently as if not to hurt Hyejin.

“Even before that night with Wheein and her girlfriend,” Yongsun begins, “Byulyi always showed interest in you.”

“I was a little shy,” Byulyi admits, “you’re the complete opposite of Yongsun, so hard to approach.”

Yongsun laughs loudly at that, covering her mouth as her laughing fades away, clearing her throat, “we spent so much time with you,” she pauses, thinking carefully, “I started to grow interested in you too.”

Hyejin listens to this, a nervous buzzing creeping under her skin, chest burning with a feeling that makes her shudder. There’s a lot of things crashing terribly in her head, everything jumbled into one giant scramble of nothingness.

There’s a hand sliding into hers, small and soft, fingers intertwining with hers. Her heart stops for a second, Hyejin swears she can feel it stop, chest constricting. 

“ _What_?” Hyejin croaks out, throat squeezing out a pitiful, sad noise.

Byulyi offers a delicate smile, cheeks rising with it, “Me and Yongsun... _ah_ …”

“Like you,” Yongsun finishes, “a lot.”

It feels like the silence stretches forever, the static noise of outside deafening. 

“I…” Hyejin weakly says, “I need a moment”

-

Byuly and Yongsun leave after a while. Yongsun runs her hand through Hyejin’s hair, smiling a little unsure. Hyejin half expects a kiss from Byulyi but gets nothing but a shy glance before they close the door behind them.

Hyejin takes a deep breath, hitching towards the end, letting herself lay back in bed, once again closing her eyes, chest still burning with this unknown feeling. She’s been blindsided, she feels so out of her depth. 

There is a lot of things she can’t stop thinking about. The softness of Yongsun’s hands, the softness of Byulyi’s smile. The tentativeness of their voices. Hyejin feels the way that makes her heart beat faster, mind still having a struggle to understand.

They both like her.

-

Yongsun is waiting for her after her Physics class, smiling shyly when Hyejin finally spots her from her place against the wall, letting the flow of the class lessen before she makes her way to Hyejin.

“Hi,” she says, eyes flickering to Hyejin’s empty hand, hand reaching out, abruptly going back down.

Hyejin watches in almost amusement, steeling herself as she reaches for Yongsun’s hand, fingers shyly interlocking with hers.

Yongsun’s smile is unbelievable bright, dimple showing as she swings their joined hands between them.   
“You’re done with your classes, right?” Yongsun pulls her along the empty hallways.

“Yes, unnie,” Hyejin lets herself be pulled outside, “I was going to go take a nap.”

“Ah,” Yongsun nods, stopping to look back at Hyejin, “do you...do you want to go with me and Byulyi?”

There’s a lot of things that hang unsaid, Hyejin feels the way Yongsun’s hand gives her own a small squeeze.

“Yeah,” Hyejin nods, suddenly nervous.

-

The walk to Yongsun and Byulyi’s apartment is easy. Yongsun looks calm, Hyejin sneaks glances at Yongsun’s profile, in awe at her long curling eyelashes, blushing when Yongsun’s eyes meets hers.

“Hyejinnie,” Yongsun shuffles a little closer, “we’re almost there.”

The elevator ride is also quite, Hyejin’s hand has not left Yongsun’s, making her nervous, hand going overly warm. 

When Yongsun opens the door Hyejin gets a glimpse of Byulyi, in the small kitchen, scraping a wooden spoon against the sizzling pan.

“Byulyi ah,” Yongsun calls out, pushing Hyejin in softly, passing by her, “Hyejinnie is here.”

Yongsun moves around the couch, eyes beckoning Hyejin to sit with her, biting her lip nervously.

“I’m trying to make food,” Byulyi says, embarrassed look crossing her face, “but uh...it’s not turning out how it’s supposed to.”

Hyejin hears the click of the stove shutting off, Yongsun laughing.

“We’ll get something to eat.”

Then there’s silence, something Hyejin has learned to live with these past weeks. 

Uncomfortably awkward, tense.

There’s an unnatural air to Yongsun and Byulyi, forced and fleeting, hesitant.

Hyejin’s own chest aches, painfully throbbing, sweat breaking out.

There’s too many things to say to let the silence overtake them. So Hyejin takes a deep breath.

“Are you sure you like me?” Hyejin asks, eyes unable to look at the other two, stuck watching the way her fingers lock into each other, resting on her lap.

“Yes,” Byulyi breathes out, almost relieved, “we do.”

“We like you a lot,” Yongsun follows up.

Hyejin still has her doubts, can’t understand how she can have both, how she’s gone from brokenhearted to this.

But at this point she’s too tired to fight it, too sad, too greedy to let this chance go.   
So she stops asking questions.

-

The sun spilling into the small dorm room glares off her laptop. Hyejin sighs, looking around, eyes catching on the permanently empty bed next to hers. 

The lecture she had recorded and is re-listening too has gotten to the point where her brain feels utterly numb. There’s only so much she can listen to when it comes to vectors.

She pauses the recording, taking off her headphones as she locks her tablet.

The setting sun cast orange hues across the walls, falling into slanted rays on the carpet floor. 

Her phone rings then, the sound of tinkling wind chimes muffled by her covers. She hurriedly tries to undo her phone from the mess of her bed clothes, looking at the name on the call before she answers.

“ _Hyejin ah_ ,” Byulyi calls from the other side, voice smiling, “ _are you done studying?_ ”

“My question is how do you two never seem to _start_ studying?” Hyejin laughs, getting up to start looking for her shoes.

“ _Did you ask her if she wants to eat out with us?_ ” Yongsun’s voice is a little faint.

“ _No, not yet, I was just-_ ”

“ _Hyejinnie_ ,” Yongsun’s cheery voice breaks through, edged with giggles, “ _do you want to go eat with us?_ ”

Hyejin laughs at that, covering her laugh as she tries to answer.

-

Byulyi reaches for her hand as soon as they meet, pulling her along the crowding streets. Yongsun’s arm finds itself locked to Hyejin’s, pressing close. Hyejing turns to look at her, catching the sweet scent of her shampoo. 

With Byulyi’s warm hand leading her, the sun long set, she leans down and presses a kiss to Yongsun’s cheek.


End file.
